Now I don’t like calling them rules, because it denotes I’m playing some sort of game, or suggesting the like. Truth is, 1, dating is sort of a game, and 2, I don’t use these rules to “play” men, but these are just things I do or don’t do that I’ve been successful at. I think, what advice would I give my little sister about men and dating and these are the rules I’ve come up with.
A few weeks ago some girlfriends asked how is it that, in their words, I have “men wrapped around my finger?” . Truth be told I never thought about it that way. I just approach men an dating in a very fearless and confident way and somehow I guess that attracts men. Not always the good ones, mind you, but it works none the less. After a very honest look at myself I did realize I may be the female version of Swarley- Swarla if you will. Only I don’t one night stand guys. Ever. I guess that could be rule #2.
Rule #1 is never to ask for a guy’s number. Ever. Either be direct and give him yours, or play coy and wait for him to ask you for your number. The way I see it, there’s 2 types of guys: those who go after what they want, and those who think maybe you’re too hot for them and are too shy to ask. The first kind of man will be the one who ends the convo with, well can I call you sometime? Then boom, give your digits if you’re interested. The second type, more my type, is the kind you just say: hey, you’re hot, here’s my #, call me sometime. If they call, there you have it. Guys aren’t mysterious. They won’t ask and/or call of they’re not interested. If they don’t call, no big deal, there may be a million reasons, none of which are your fault or problem. Move on.
Last night I realized that literally every guy I’ve dated in a LONG time I’ve hit on first. Almost all of them I offered my number without them asking, and I have a fairly good rate of return. Now I’ve given my number A LOT of times and got nada. Which is fine. He just wasn’t that into me. I’m not for everyone. BFD. For example, I recently messaged my number on FB to a guy I went to highschool with saying to hit me up sometime. I know he’s seen the message since he’s been online since. But he never texted me. And that’s 100% perfectly fine. Because even tho he is hot and I had a big crush on him in highschool, it is what it is, and there are plenty of more men out there for me who are deserving of my time. Like I said before, guys are simple creatures, they like you=they call. He’s just not that into me.
Another reason why I think it is okay to give a guy your number is because people always assume that I get hit on all the time. I DON’T!!! My friends get hit on WAY more than I do. I don’t know why either. Sometimes it bothers me, or hurts my feelings. I try to keep a positive outlook on it. But another guy recently explained to me something I hadn’t thought about before, I thought I’d share it here in case you’re like me and wondering, well I’m kinda cute enough, why don’t guys hit on me??
He said that when he (at least) sees a group of girls, he would never go for the hottest one because he (at least) doesn’t think he is the most attractive guy on the planet (he’s hot), and therefore wouldn’t go for the hot girl, because he assumes he’ll be shut down, and no guy wants to be rejected. So he either goes for the less-than-hot friend, or doesn’t bother talking to them at all. This particular person also said that had I not come on strong and given him MY number, he would have NEVER hit on me EVER. Interesting right? Now I personally don’t think I’m all that amazing. I mean, I’m one of the smartest people I know (LOL, if not THE… JKJK), but I’m okay looking. I’m cute. But maybe I’ll just go on believing this man’s logic to make myself feel better 😀
I guess the point of that story is that if you’re one of those girls who NEVER gets hit on, maybe you’re too intimidating, like I’ve been told I am. So women, step up and go after what you want. But if you do, and he doesn’t call, don’t go crazy with the stalking. LOL. A guy WILL contact you if he wants to. If not, you’ll just become the creepy FB stalker girl to all his other friends.