Rule #6: Own It

This is more of a life lesson than just a dating rule. We’re all different people. It’s taken me a LONG time to realize this. Highschool was the WORST for me. Between everyone being in love with Janel to getting barked at everyday my senior year of high school, I was super self conscious and very unhappy with myself. God, I remember thinking I was fat when I was a size 2! Ugh, if only I could go back in time….. *le sigh* Anyways, it took me gaining weight and becoming a size 9 to realize something about myself physically: I’m curvy. I have a figure. Hips, boobs, the whole 9. And it was then I realized this: own it. Whoever you are, whatever is your flaws, any events in your past, what you look like, your quirks, own it. Be all about it, be all about yourself. It’s MUCH better to own who you are and start letting people love you for you than trying to be someone else. We’re all different, and there’s no one way to be.

My ex Aaron is mostly who taught me this. When I met him, I was no longer the skinny uptight B is used to be, I was curvy and relaxed with who I had become, what I looked like, and what my passions were. I was super into sci-fi, and sarcasm, movies, TV, wine, beer…. and I owned it. A thought all these things I had always been self conscious about (like my love of LOTR and SoAP and HP and The Office) were the best qualities about me. He loved that I was into sports, and could hold an intelligent conversation. He made me okay with being this new me that I was becoming.

After him, I realized that I really don’t give a fuck. I don’t care what you think of me. I am who I am. I have acne at 25 years old, I’m curvy, I love to pick my nose, craps is my fav, I love Taylor Swift, I am all geek and a little nerd, I LOVE football, sci fi is my fav, rom coms never get old, I don’t drink jeager, I watch way too much CW. Whatever it is about me, I own it. Cause that’s who I am. If you don’t like it them GFY. Not every person in the world has to love me or even like me. If you do, then awesome, teach me something new, if you don’t like me then that’s cool too, whatever. But something I’m not willing to do anymore is change to appease people. I am who I am. I will grow and learn new things as I age, as does everyone, but whatever I like, I own. The scars on my wrist, I own it. It was a horrible experience, but it’s made me who I am. And I really only have 3 choices: pretend its not there, be really embarrassed about it, or own it. So I own it. If someone asks me about it, I’ll be straight up with them. It happened to me, it’s a part of who I am, and if they think differently of me because of the truth about my past, then so be it.

I think as we all get a little older, most people adopt this attitude, and more and more people respect it. I know I respect someone who owns their shit. I’ve recently taught a friend this philosophy and there were things he did not like about some scars he had on his face that I thought were sexy as hell and he’s started to own them. Tell the story, make it a positive thing. If something is truely a part of you, being embarrassed about it only hurts your esteem. Be proud of every part of you, even the ugly parts. Love the stretch marks. Embrace your curves. Take compliments with humility and grace, and say Thank You. Laugh about your insecurities. Defend your love of Britney Spears (leave Britney alone!) or your extreme memorization of Forest Gump. Be all about yourself, and you won’t have a problem finding someone who can be all about you too.

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