Category Archives: Baby

Family, Dating and the Holidays

This year was a bitter-sweet year for me. I got to be there for Sophie’s very first Christmas which she slept through most of it. But she loved all her new toys and I just love her!

20120102-225513.jpg But I also found out that my mom’s cancer came back and this time it’s untreatable. That was a stab in the heart. I know it’s natural to lose your parents but you never expect it to happen so soon and you never expect to know its coming sooner rather than later. I’ll admit, I’m terrified of losing my mommy. I’m devastated that Sophie won’t know her as well as I knew my grandparents. Most of all I’m Wrecked that she may never meet the rest of her grand kids, and they may never know her warmth and love. Because of all this I’m still praying for a miracle, for anything that will keep her here with us. My mom is this amazing woman and if anyone deserves a miracle it’s her.

Because of all of this, I’ve made it a point to spend more time with my family over the holidays. That and my brother was in town for a week. Yeah, I blew off a few potential dates and a new years kiss at midnight to do so and I feel bad about that. But ill always remember this time spent with my family and that’s so important to me. And it’s a little surprising actually considering 10 years ago I couldn’t wait to flee from prison home. Just goes to show how much a little time and having a kid of your own changes your perspective.

Dating over the holidays is rough though if not impossible. I know that people say if someone means something to you then you’ll make time for them but I spent literally every night at my parents house for a week just being with them. Best idea ever. We played monopoly, our favorite card game euchre, and my personal fave Just Dance 3. I will never EVER forget my brother and my mom dancing to that game. Ever. But my point is if you’re seeing someone an they haven’t made time for you over the holidays, give them a break and don’t read too much into it. For me at least, every night of family togetherness was important and amazing because it could be our last holidays like this.

Thanks family for all the love and wonderful season!

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Dating Adventures from a Mom

It occurs to me that since my bestie/roommate is writing about *my* dating life as a topic for her blog posts so she doesn’t have to do her 30 dates thing I should probably be writing about it too. I just tend to get darn lazy with this blog between working, obsessing over Once Upon a Time, being a mommy, and making these (damn) magnet boards.

If you’ve been following my blog for awhile now, you’ll know that I became bitterly single (read about it here, here, and here) while I was pregnant, and after the early zombie days of motherhood wondering how the heck I am ever going to date again. There were so many questions floating around…

who would date a single mom?

do they become like a new dad to my kid?

what do I do about the fact that I’m still breastfeeding…awkward!?

when do you introduce the baby to them?

how do you NOT talk about your baby the entire night?

will they even realize I’m a person anymore since all I do is talk about baby poop and probably have some in my hair?

Okay… so maybe some of those questions aren’t real, but in reality it is a complicated situation. One I unfortunately didn’t have to come across until recently since no one wanted to date me. You see, most men I know don’t want to date a single mom. It’s too much, too fast, and they’re too afraid of ______. Whatever, cool. I am focused on being a mommy anyways. But I knew eventually I would have to foray out into the world of dating. Taking care of myself as a woman is important to me, and to Sophie too. As a good friend reminded me, I have to be the one to set an example of healthy relationships for Sophie. She will learn it all from watching my interaction with people, men, her father, etc. I knew eventually if I ever wanted to get married and maybe have some more kiddos, I’d have to start dating. Right?

THANK GOD that my first date as a mother was with someone I’d known since high school. I couldn’t tell you how nervous I still was in spite of the fact that we’d been friends 10+ years. My roomie was assuring me that it was all going to be okay as I was finding ways I could bow out gracefully just so I didn’t have to worry about they tiny date details that every girls worries about. Opening doors, saying thank yous, not burping, making sure there’s no food in your teeth, is there a kiss? is there a hug? ugh… anyways. Needless to say, it went swimmingly and was a perfect date.

But the point here isn’t to summarize all my dates (there’s been 4 so far tyvm!) but to say that it IS possible to date and be a mommy to a 9 month year old GIVEN that the man you’re going on dates with is totally understanding that you’re a mom to a 9 month old.

New Tattoo!

Okay, so you have to look at it the other way, since I took this with my iPhone and it’s thus upside down. It is a mother and daughter in an embrace, and the heart is naturally an infinite loop. It’s infinite because I’ll always love Sophie, my baby, and we’re forever in an embrace because I’ll always be there for her, no matter what. And the 3 daisies stand for innocence, because she’s my sweet little innocent baby girl. And 3 daisies for the 3rd month she was born, March. So it’s a little cheesy when you spell it out in that way… but I love it. I love her even more. Here is the cutest picture ever, so make sure you have some mouthwash because it’s REALLy sweet!

Fuck the June Wellness Challenge!

Back in June I made a goal of losing weight and Blah blah blah. Well that didn’t work out. I actually gained weight since then (muscle anyone?) and my inches go back and forth. I was working out really well for awhile, then Sophie got crazy and I spent a week in Vegas. Since then it’s been a little hard to get motivated. I hate the way My new body looks in the mirror, but I’m also amazed at what it has done and that my body has nourished my baby for this long on it’s own!! I’ve decided that instead of focusing on the fat, I should be loving what I have and who that makes me now. Afterall, that’s what I would want Sophie to do!

But for now I am using a calorie counter to try to make good choices and am aiming for exercise when I can. I’ll update if there’s progress…

June Wellness Challenge

Plan: Workout at least 3 times a week.

Goal: Lose 5 lbs and inches off my waist (not sure how many is normal or healthy, just to lose something.

Starting Weight: 135 lbs, 30 inch natural waist, 39 inch hip size.

 

June 1, workout #1: Total body

  • On half stability ball:
    • Bicep curls- 5 lbs, 15 reps, 1 set
    • Front shoulder lifts- 5 lbs, 15 reps, 1 set
    • Side shoulder lifts- 5 lbs, 15 reps, 1 set
    • Squats- 15 reps, 1 set
  • Side Bends- 10 lbs, 20 reps, 1 set
  • Crunches- 25 reps, 1 set
  • Leg lifts- 25 reps, 1 set
  • Bicycle crunches- 25 reps, 1 set
  • Butt raises- 25 reps, 1 set
  • Single arm bench press on stability ball- 10 lbs, 15 reps, 1 set
  • Calf raises- 5 lbs, 20 reps, 1 set
  • Invert bench crunches- 10 reps, 1 set
Target time: 1 hour, exercises are done back to back with no rest in between

Reality

About 3 months ago before I had Sophie, I blogged about how I wanted my life to be post-pregnancy. Ah such wishful thinking… Most of the reasons why I have failed to follow some of these guidelines is simply that given the choice between exercise and sleep… Sleep wins. Everytime. So far…

Here is a quick list of what I wrote, with my current notes on REALITY of life in bold:

So here is my pregnancy detox plan (if you will) starting off with diet changes:

1. Delete fast food from my life. HA! Yeah right!! I wish I had the time to cook for myself more but so far I’ve been pretty much living off of Domino’s boneless chicken 🙂 It’s SO yummy!

2. I will be drinking only soy milk. No cow’s milk anymore. This one I have been really good at actually. The only time I drink cow’s milk is in my Starbucks lattes.

3. My Starbucks lattes will be skinny. Ahhhh Starbucks…. YUMMY Starbucks. Recently I have been getting my lattes non-fat, no whip and my fraps skinny 🙂 It’s time for Mama to get hot again!

4. I intend to go back to being mostly vegetarian. Considering I don’t cook my own meat and only eat it when I’m out and about, it shouldn’t be too hard. Again, considering I eat boneless chicken every day… ughhh…. well, I have tofu in my fridge, I just need to cook it!

5. I will continue to limit my caffeine intake. Still having about 1 cup a day, go me!

6. One rule I love that I follow now is I don’t include any SODAS or ENERGY drinks in my diet. I will definitely continue this. Yay! I’ve kept this one really really well! I hardly drink soda anymore and I don’t even really enjoy it anymore. Although I sort of miss energy drinks, umm, no thank you.

7. One thing I CAN’T wait to do is eat fish!!!!!!! I’m not sure on whether or not this rule continues into breastfeeding, but god I hope not. I MISS fish and especially sashimi and sushi… mmmmmmm LOVE LOVE LOVE sashimi!!!! I haven’t eaten it enough post-pregnancy but when I did…. HEAVEN.

8. I also plan on, eventually, re-entering alcohol into my life. I never plan on continuing my old lifestyle ever again, but being able to have a glass of wine with dinner or a sour ale at the bar will be nice. Let’s see… I have had a couple coronas here or there and some wine with dinner, I haven’t gotten drunk yet though. Although one of my bestfriends is in town this week….

And here is my plans for my body:

1. Reintroduce exercise slowly through the use of a personal trainer. Don’t think I will be using a PT, but I have plans to begin going to the gym several times a week. I just keep delaying this plan due to overtiredness. I *hope* to be going to the River for a weekend in early June, so I’m trying to use that as my motivation… but part of me doesn’t think I will be able to leave Sophie for a whole weekend!

2. Eventually start a running regimen doing intervals that I learned about in Women’s Health. Meh, see above. I have a love/hate relationship with running….

3. Get back down to my pre-pregnancy weight of around 120 lbs. (Which means I’ll have about 30 lbs altogether to lose… some of those will come off during delivery, the rest…..) So pretty much since I had Sophie I’ve been at about 135, so I have about another 10 lbs to lose until I’m happy again. My hips have gotten bigger though and I don’t think that will change, which means I went up in pant size, but I’m hoping to tone up I will lose some inches.

4. Tone up my core, butt, and thighs. And get lifting free weights again. I really do miss the gym. Not more than I miss sleep unfortunately.

5. Keep up with yoga at least once a week.

6. My goal is to get back to a 27 inch waist, which is about a size 5 in jeans. Hopefully I can keep some of the new big boobs :)

7. And my goal is to do all of this in about 3 months after I can start exercising again. Which will hopefully be in late April (approx 6 weeks after birth).

8. One of the first things I plan on doing is *hopefully* getting tattooed as soon as I can. Going 10 months without a tattoo, especially after a breakup, is HARD for me. I have a tradition where after every relationship (only the major ones) end, I get a piercing or tattoo as a way of moving on and celebrating that part of my life. I know I want to do something for Sophie, I’m not sure yet. I know I don’t want to do the traditional hand/footprint tattoo… that’s overused and boring. For this one, I have decided on what I want my Sophie tattoo to be… her name in greek, which looks like this Σοφíα and her birth flower, which are daffodils. I can’t wait to get it done!!!

So many choices…

I knew I hated making decisions from an early age. My parents have “fond” memories of me spending literally HOURS standing in the Barbie aisle of the local toy store (remember KB Toys in the mall??). I guess I was trying to pick the perfect Barbie (looking back they’re all perfect… That damn Barbie!). It was silly though because what I didn’t realize then was I’d be back in another week or so to get yet another one! But I did the same thing shoe shopping. I remember my older brother was tasked with taking me shoe shopping for an upcoming dance and I COULD NOT pick a pair of shoes to save my life. My brother had to threaten to leave without me after several hours inside a payless.

I mean, these decisions, even as a young child, gave me panic. I felt anxiety choosing a Barbie, what the hell is that! I guess it was a little personality quirk that would continue, even to this day, although now I don’t hesitate at Payless, I just buy all the shoes I like 😉

At this moment in my twentysomething life, I am faced with several choices, each of them scary on their own. Or the choice to do nothing, which is also scary. As many of you know, law school has always been a dream of mine, yet I cannot seem to get accepted into a school. I can always go back to Concord Law School… But then what? I think lately my reality about POST-law school has become quite jaded. Its a rough economy out there. And there are more law students then ever. The chances that I’d actually get a job doing what I want that makes enough money to pay off the enormous debt I’d be getting into is slim. Which I didn’t really care about before, but now that I have Sophie, I HAVE to think about her future. I can’t slum it & live off of mac n cheese anymore. I have to give Soph everything and that may mean giving up or delaying that dream.

However, recently another plan has popped into my head, using the skills I already possess. I’ve been seriously thinking about starting a side business doing contract work bookkeeping. I spoke with my professional mentor and he laid out a plan that is VERY easy to start. And his support of me is incredibe. I would be doing bookkeeping for small businesses using Quickbooks. I would also run payroll, file taxes (personal & business) and more like powerpoint presentations, social media marketing plans & set-up, create excel worksheets, financial statements, HR and employee tracking… Etc. I have a lot of skills that Domino’s has blessed me with that I would LOVE to develop into my own business. Its just again, a huge risk to take. The startup cost is significantly less than law school obviously, but I’d be opening myself up for huge failure & embarrassment if I couldn’t pull it off.

Or I coukd do nothing, continue to work at Domino’s and grow my position there. I’ve been treated so well here and there are growing opportunities for me. For instance, I have a chance to write & teach a section on the importance of social media marketing in sales building techniques for a training class that trains hundreds of managers. That’s pretty HUGE!

Decisions decisions….

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