Category Archives: My Life

June Wellness Challenge

Plan: Workout at least 3 times a week.

Goal: Lose 5 lbs and inches off my waist (not sure how many is normal or healthy, just to lose something.

Starting Weight: 135 lbs, 30 inch natural waist, 39 inch hip size.

 

June 1, workout #1: Total body

  • On half stability ball:
    • Bicep curls- 5 lbs, 15 reps, 1 set
    • Front shoulder lifts- 5 lbs, 15 reps, 1 set
    • Side shoulder lifts- 5 lbs, 15 reps, 1 set
    • Squats- 15 reps, 1 set
  • Side Bends- 10 lbs, 20 reps, 1 set
  • Crunches- 25 reps, 1 set
  • Leg lifts- 25 reps, 1 set
  • Bicycle crunches- 25 reps, 1 set
  • Butt raises- 25 reps, 1 set
  • Single arm bench press on stability ball- 10 lbs, 15 reps, 1 set
  • Calf raises- 5 lbs, 20 reps, 1 set
  • Invert bench crunches- 10 reps, 1 set
Target time: 1 hour, exercises are done back to back with no rest in between

Reality

About 3 months ago before I had Sophie, I blogged about how I wanted my life to be post-pregnancy. Ah such wishful thinking… Most of the reasons why I have failed to follow some of these guidelines is simply that given the choice between exercise and sleep… Sleep wins. Everytime. So far…

Here is a quick list of what I wrote, with my current notes on REALITY of life in bold:

So here is my pregnancy detox plan (if you will) starting off with diet changes:

1. Delete fast food from my life. HA! Yeah right!! I wish I had the time to cook for myself more but so far I’ve been pretty much living off of Domino’s boneless chicken 🙂 It’s SO yummy!

2. I will be drinking only soy milk. No cow’s milk anymore. This one I have been really good at actually. The only time I drink cow’s milk is in my Starbucks lattes.

3. My Starbucks lattes will be skinny. Ahhhh Starbucks…. YUMMY Starbucks. Recently I have been getting my lattes non-fat, no whip and my fraps skinny 🙂 It’s time for Mama to get hot again!

4. I intend to go back to being mostly vegetarian. Considering I don’t cook my own meat and only eat it when I’m out and about, it shouldn’t be too hard. Again, considering I eat boneless chicken every day… ughhh…. well, I have tofu in my fridge, I just need to cook it!

5. I will continue to limit my caffeine intake. Still having about 1 cup a day, go me!

6. One rule I love that I follow now is I don’t include any SODAS or ENERGY drinks in my diet. I will definitely continue this. Yay! I’ve kept this one really really well! I hardly drink soda anymore and I don’t even really enjoy it anymore. Although I sort of miss energy drinks, umm, no thank you.

7. One thing I CAN’T wait to do is eat fish!!!!!!! I’m not sure on whether or not this rule continues into breastfeeding, but god I hope not. I MISS fish and especially sashimi and sushi… mmmmmmm LOVE LOVE LOVE sashimi!!!! I haven’t eaten it enough post-pregnancy but when I did…. HEAVEN.

8. I also plan on, eventually, re-entering alcohol into my life. I never plan on continuing my old lifestyle ever again, but being able to have a glass of wine with dinner or a sour ale at the bar will be nice. Let’s see… I have had a couple coronas here or there and some wine with dinner, I haven’t gotten drunk yet though. Although one of my bestfriends is in town this week….

And here is my plans for my body:

1. Reintroduce exercise slowly through the use of a personal trainer. Don’t think I will be using a PT, but I have plans to begin going to the gym several times a week. I just keep delaying this plan due to overtiredness. I *hope* to be going to the River for a weekend in early June, so I’m trying to use that as my motivation… but part of me doesn’t think I will be able to leave Sophie for a whole weekend!

2. Eventually start a running regimen doing intervals that I learned about in Women’s Health. Meh, see above. I have a love/hate relationship with running….

3. Get back down to my pre-pregnancy weight of around 120 lbs. (Which means I’ll have about 30 lbs altogether to lose… some of those will come off during delivery, the rest…..) So pretty much since I had Sophie I’ve been at about 135, so I have about another 10 lbs to lose until I’m happy again. My hips have gotten bigger though and I don’t think that will change, which means I went up in pant size, but I’m hoping to tone up I will lose some inches.

4. Tone up my core, butt, and thighs. And get lifting free weights again. I really do miss the gym. Not more than I miss sleep unfortunately.

5. Keep up with yoga at least once a week.

6. My goal is to get back to a 27 inch waist, which is about a size 5 in jeans. Hopefully I can keep some of the new big boobs :)

7. And my goal is to do all of this in about 3 months after I can start exercising again. Which will hopefully be in late April (approx 6 weeks after birth).

8. One of the first things I plan on doing is *hopefully* getting tattooed as soon as I can. Going 10 months without a tattoo, especially after a breakup, is HARD for me. I have a tradition where after every relationship (only the major ones) end, I get a piercing or tattoo as a way of moving on and celebrating that part of my life. I know I want to do something for Sophie, I’m not sure yet. I know I don’t want to do the traditional hand/footprint tattoo… that’s overused and boring. For this one, I have decided on what I want my Sophie tattoo to be… her name in greek, which looks like this Σοφíα and her birth flower, which are daffodils. I can’t wait to get it done!!!

So many choices…

I knew I hated making decisions from an early age. My parents have “fond” memories of me spending literally HOURS standing in the Barbie aisle of the local toy store (remember KB Toys in the mall??). I guess I was trying to pick the perfect Barbie (looking back they’re all perfect… That damn Barbie!). It was silly though because what I didn’t realize then was I’d be back in another week or so to get yet another one! But I did the same thing shoe shopping. I remember my older brother was tasked with taking me shoe shopping for an upcoming dance and I COULD NOT pick a pair of shoes to save my life. My brother had to threaten to leave without me after several hours inside a payless.

I mean, these decisions, even as a young child, gave me panic. I felt anxiety choosing a Barbie, what the hell is that! I guess it was a little personality quirk that would continue, even to this day, although now I don’t hesitate at Payless, I just buy all the shoes I like 😉

At this moment in my twentysomething life, I am faced with several choices, each of them scary on their own. Or the choice to do nothing, which is also scary. As many of you know, law school has always been a dream of mine, yet I cannot seem to get accepted into a school. I can always go back to Concord Law School… But then what? I think lately my reality about POST-law school has become quite jaded. Its a rough economy out there. And there are more law students then ever. The chances that I’d actually get a job doing what I want that makes enough money to pay off the enormous debt I’d be getting into is slim. Which I didn’t really care about before, but now that I have Sophie, I HAVE to think about her future. I can’t slum it & live off of mac n cheese anymore. I have to give Soph everything and that may mean giving up or delaying that dream.

However, recently another plan has popped into my head, using the skills I already possess. I’ve been seriously thinking about starting a side business doing contract work bookkeeping. I spoke with my professional mentor and he laid out a plan that is VERY easy to start. And his support of me is incredibe. I would be doing bookkeeping for small businesses using Quickbooks. I would also run payroll, file taxes (personal & business) and more like powerpoint presentations, social media marketing plans & set-up, create excel worksheets, financial statements, HR and employee tracking… Etc. I have a lot of skills that Domino’s has blessed me with that I would LOVE to develop into my own business. Its just again, a huge risk to take. The startup cost is significantly less than law school obviously, but I’d be opening myself up for huge failure & embarrassment if I couldn’t pull it off.

Or I coukd do nothing, continue to work at Domino’s and grow my position there. I’ve been treated so well here and there are growing opportunities for me. For instance, I have a chance to write & teach a section on the importance of social media marketing in sales building techniques for a training class that trains hundreds of managers. That’s pretty HUGE!

Decisions decisions….

Post Pregnancy Life

Post Pregnancy Life

Much like we denote time with AD and BC, women with children denote their lives with Pre-pregnancy and post-pregnancy. Because one thing is for sure, you’re never the same post-pregnancy. Whether it be your body, emotional health, lifestyle or future plans, everything is different. There simply is no going back.

But, we are human beings, and most will do everything in our realm of possibility to try. For me, the most important thing about my post-pregnancy life is getting my body back and getting healthy.

So here is my pregnancy detox plan (if you will) starting off with diet changes:

1. Delete fast food from my life.

2. I will be drinking only soy milk. No cow’s milk anymore.

3. My Starbucks lattes will be skinny.

4. I intend to go back to being mostly vegetarian. Considering I don’t cook my own meat and only eat it when I’m out and about, it shouldn’t be too hard.

5. I will continue to limit my caffeine intake.

6. One rule I love that I follow now is I don’t include any SODAS or ENERGY drinks in my diet. I will definitely continue this.

7. One thing I CAN’T wait to do is eat fish!!!!!!! I’m not sure on whether or not this rule continues into breastfeeding, but god I hope not. I MISS fish and especially sashimi and sushi… mmmmmmm

8. I also plan on, eventually, re-entering alcohol into my life. I never plan on continuing my old lifestyle ever again, but being able to have a glass of wine with dinner or a sour ale at the bar will be nice.

And here is my plans for my body:

1. Reintroduce exercise slowly through the use of a personal trainer.

2. Eventually start a running regimen doing intervals that I learned about in Women’s Health.

3. Get back down to my pre-pregnancy weight of around 120 lbs. (Which means I’ll have about 30 lbs altogether to lose… some of those will come off during delivery, the rest…..)

4. Tone up my core, butt, and thighs. And get lifting free weights again. I really do miss the gym.

5. Keep up with yoga at least once a week.

6. My goal is to get back to a 27 inch waist, which is about a size 5 in jeans. Hopefully I can keep some of the new big boobs 🙂

7. And my goal is to do all of this in about 3 months after I can start exercising again. Which will hopefully be in late April (approx 6 weeks after birth).

8. One of the first things I plan on doing is *hopefully* getting tattooed as soon as I can. Going 10 months without a tattoo, especially after a breakup, is HARD for me. I have a tradition where after every relationship (only the major ones) end, I get a piercing or tattoo as a way of moving on and celebrating that part of my life. I know I want to do something for Sophie, I’m not sure yet. I know I don’t want to do the traditional hand/footprint tattoo… that’s overused and boring.

And finally, the plans for my LIFE:

1. Seriously, GO TO DISNEYLAND. I am going to try to go when Sophie is a few months old and stay for the weekend. I just want to go SO SO SO bad, I love Disneyland!!!

2. I want to attend Cristina’s bachelorette party in The Vegas in September, so that will be a big goal of mine.

3. Learn to be happy & comfortable with my post-pregnancy body. Yes, I realize I will have the belly stretch marks, along with the already existing ones on my butt, love handles, and inner thighs. Maybe I can try some sort of “firming” treatment, but in the end, they will never go away, and I will have to learn to love them as a part of myself and I will have to learn how to be sexy again.  Or rather, how to feel sexy again. Yes, it will take some time, and a very special man to find a “real” woman sexy. My boobs will probably sag, and the darkening of my aureolas may never go away. I think overall, out of everything, this will be the hardest to cope with… the bodily changes that you CAN’T reverse. But it does help knowing that there are literally millions of other women out there who have “pregnancy battle wounds” and are still loved and considered sexy by their men.

4. And if that doesn’t work, then I will save up for plastic surgery: tummy tuck & a boob lift.

The waiting game

I do realize it’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything. Anything interesting at least. It’s because my life hasn’t been interesting and I wouldn’t dare bore my lovely readers (all 3 of you) with boring pregnancy-related posts. That’s what my facebook page is for (sorry facebook friends!)

Right now my life is in a stage of waiting… and waiting… and waiting. There are two things, namely, that I am stuck waiting on: 1. My baby coming, and 2. Law School acceptance or denial letters. And neither is there anything I can do about it. And that drives me CRAZY!!! If you know me, you know that I like to be in charge of things. No, not like… more like NEED to be in charge. I need to know, I have an insatiable thirst to know things. Anything. The ending to a long movie. Whether or not the anecdote Justin Timberlake recites in The Social Network about Victoria’s Secret is true (it was). What I am getting for Christmas (if I can look, I will). Who the person that texted you was (not because I’m jealous, but because I HATE now knowing!) And that’s just it. I HATE not knowing something, I loathe it. If I want something, I want it now, if I want to know something, I look it up. Otherwise it consumes me and drives me to the point of insanity and I end up feeling defeated at life because I just can’t know that one thing. There is a shirt that the last time I remember having was my 21st birthday in Las Vegas back in god-knows-when that I don’t know what happened to and you know what? 5 years later, I still think about it. I WANT TO KNOW!!!

So living in a state of waiting is hell for me. It pretty much destroys my entire life and turns me into an obsessive freak. California Western School of Law has a “status checker” for the status of your application with them and I check it at midnight sometimes. As if they’re updating my status and deciding my application at that time. If I order something online, the tracking number becomes my new best friend and I check it daily. Not because I need the package or anything, but just because I need to know where the package is. I don’t care if it won’t be delivered for a year. If I can track it, I’m a happy girl. With Sophie, every time I have a braxton-hicks contraction along with (literally) any other symptom, I immediately google it to try and see if labor is close. So far, it isn’t.

Yesterday I googled “does a lot of braxton hicks contractions mean labor is close?” just because I NEED something on which to measure! I need it!! I need to know!!!!! Realizing that she will come when she wants to and there is nothing I can do I think has been the most frustrating experience of my life. You better believe at 37 weeks (when she is considered full term) I will be trying every single home remedy I can google to start labor. Except castor oil… that just sounds like a bad idea from what I’ve read. I see her moving in my belly and I feel her rolling around and kicking and it’s as if she’s laughing at me saying “I know something you don’t know”. And she won’t share.

I actually think this state of waiting kind of depresses me. I have no desire to do much, go out… then again, that’s just a part of pregnancy anyways. But still, it’s SO frustrating for me that it actually becomes depressing. I think that a big part of it is that the two biggest things that will happen to shape my future are coming, and I have no control over them. Zero. And that’s really a scary thing. All these other people know how my future is going to shape out and I don’t. So I do the only thing I can do… I continue to wait. And wait. And wait. And check my Cal Western status checker 3 times a day to satiate my need to know.

The Godfather

Seeing as I’m not particularly religious, I don’t really get the idea of god-parents. After googleing the term (as I do), the purpose became clear: a god-parent is supposed to help raise your children in the way of whatever religion you subscribe to in your absence. But going beyond that, I think a god-parent is someone who maintains a special 2-way relationship with the god-child. A non-blood relative who is part of the family is how I see it. Choosing someone to be a god-parent is a big deal. They’re expected to be there for a baby, kid, teenager, and eventually adult who they aren’t related to in any way whatsoever. To provide support for someone they had no help in creating.

 

I envision for Sophie’s god-parents to be there for birthdays and special occasions. Give her advice when she needs it and sometimes when she doesn’t. Help her out financially or otherwise if she’s struggling. But above all that, to guide her to be an awesome, stable, healthy and loved person. I imagine long philosophical debates, dates to get ice cream, trips to the zoo, and dispensing advice about her first boyfriend.

 

For me, there was only 1 person I could ask to be Sophie’s god-father. I know first hand the kind of support he is willing and able to give, as he has given it to me over the last 10 years. His name is Brad, and while he is an ex (and the most serious one to date), he is also still probably my best friend. I met him when I was 19 and we dated pretty much my entire adult life until I was 25. Because of the fact that we grew up as adults together, we agree on almost everything, have a ton in common, and he is probably the most intelligent person I know (besides myself, obviously). While a “god”-parent is supposed to raise the “god”-child in the ways of, well, god, I know he will raise Sophie in the way of intellect. And good taste in music. Brad and I have been through hell and back, he has seen me at my worst and my best, and I dearly love him still to this day. I always knew he would always be a part of my life somehow, and I am thankful that in can be in this capacity.

 

I am not sure how my future will pan out, none of us can be. I do know though that the people that love me in my life will always do right by Sophie. I am thankful that for everything I have been through I have this amazing family and extended family that are so good to me. And I am thankful that Brad accepted being her god-parent. He really is almost an extension of myself (except that fact that he is slowly becoming more and more politically conservative) and I know Sophie will grow up loving him! I did tell him, however, that if he ever registers republican, his god-parent privileges will be revoked. And I mean it.

New Rule

Rule #8: Don’t date someone you need to change

 

This should be a pretty easy one that I shouldn’t need to talk about or tell you about. However, I am oh so guilty of it myself, and my forced sobriety has shed much perspective on the subject, so I thought I’d share my insight.

 

I’m openly against smoking marijuana and cigarettes. However, in my past I’ve dated a pothead and a guy who dips tobacco, mixed in with the “social smoker” and the cigar aficionado. And in almost every case, I knew about their habits when I began dating them. And then I continued to date them, choosing to nag instead of leave. Apparently I’m pretty convincing because in most cases, nagging worked. It does work women of the world, but not without a price, and that price is resentment. As in the man ended up resenting me for “controlling” his life and instead of quitting, decides to do it behind my back. This is the consequence of resentment, and it is something I have learned and know now.

After watching my Mom get diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer and being given a 5% chance of living, I now have a steadfast, unbreakable rule that may as well be written out in blood: I WILL NEVER DATE A SMOKER, OR DRUG USER, OF ANY KIND. This includes social smoking and cigar smoking. At least cigar smoking in front of me. My most recent ex asked me if he could smoke a cigar while my mom was going through chemotherapy. Talk about a jackass move. I don’t care if it’s illogical, or in California, improbable. It’s my rule, and I will never date someone again who smokes, because I will inevitably nag them to quit because I hate it, and they will inevitably come to resent me for it… and it never ends well. People constantly ask me why I hate weed and won’t date or be around smokers, and I always tell them that I don’t need a logical reason, or any reason at all. It’s how I feel and I know my own limits, which I wish people knew more of in dating.For me, it’s a complete and utter deal breaker. If I had this rule back when I was 19 it would have saved me A LOT of heartache and even more fighting. But alas, I learned it at 26: Don’t date someone who you need to change.

 

When I picture my life with my fiance or husband or serious boyfriend, I can tell you one thing: It doesn’t involve a lot of alcohol. Contrary to what you can see in my facebook pictures, I prefer to be boring over crazy. Domesticated over alcoholic. When I say “settle down” with someone, I mean it literally: SETTLE DOWN. As in whoa boy, pull in the reins. This is the lesson that I have reflected upon more clearly as of late. I think about my last 2 relationships and the last 2 years and literally every guy I dated and those 2 relationships were completely and totally revolved around alcohol. It was like I was in an open relationship, it was me, him, and the booze. When I was single, I was in party mode, 24/7. And the guys I met probably, and logically, assumed that was “me”, that was who I am: party girl Lizzy, the crazy, spontaneous one. And I’ve sure had my moments… like going to Mexico after knowing a guy for only 2 weeks with no passport for 4 days. And those were the best 4 days spent with a guy. Full of romance, and spontaneity. We danced in the middle of the street, slow danced outside of a restaurant, frolicked on the beach, and stayed up all night talking and asking each other questions. And dating was full of even more spontaneity: more random dancing, streaking, taking risks and experiencing new things all around. But that’s never what I wanted for my life, for the long-run. Like I said, settling down with someone means settling down. As the relationship progressed, what I truly wanted came out, and that was a nice home life, watching movies, cooking dinner together, sprinkled with spontaneity, not all that craziness as the main course.

 

But what I’ve learned over these past few months is this, I can’t date a wild and crazy guy and then expect him to want to settle down as soon as were in a relationship. Don’t date someone you need to change. The fact is, if you’re dating a partier, it is highly unlikely that is going to change just because he now calls you his girlfriend. He is still going to want to have crazy ass guys nights where he doesn’t remember how he got home. He is still going to expect you to dance on the sidewalk just because. He will be puzzled when you’re upset that he wants to get drunk on a Tuesday night. This happened with my ex-fiance too. When we were dating, things were crazy fun, the same story. As soon as we got engaged, I fully expected to settle down, turn into my parents: boring but happy home life. He didn’t. We fought a lot over this before it ended. Looking back I realize now it wasn’t all his fault (it never is), a huge part of it was my unspoken, unrealized expectation that he didn’t share in. Why? Because you don’t date someone you need to change.

 

I say to you men who want to settle down with a woman but can’t find themselves meeting one worth settling down with is this: Be the man you want to be after you have the girl. But be him now. Because personally, that is what I am looking for from now on. You have to take a good hard look at your wants and needs from a partner, and where you see yourself, where you really see yourself. And then you have to meet those wants and needs to the man. Not mold any man to your wants and needs, that is what has been my problem. Now I have a new set of standards, starting with no smoking, but going further than that. If a man’s life is revolving around drinking and bars and hangovers, then he isn’t the right guy for me, and I will not date you. No matter how much I think I like you, or how hot you may be, or how lonely I am. And here is the real kicker: Words don’t mean shit. Don’t listen to a guy that says “this isn’t me” or “I only party when I’m single” or whatever excuse he comes up with. The truth is, men will say anything to get a woman into bed. Or even if they believe, truly believe, that the image isn’t the real them, just remember: actions speak louder than words. If he is partying every night, it is him. No matter how much he tries to deny it or say he’s ready to settle down. The only guy who is ready to settle down is the one that IS settled down.

 

The same logic applies to all aspects of a guy you want to date. If he says he wants to go to school, that is a lot different from a guy who is actually going to school. Don’t date a guy you need to change. If you want a guy who is motivated and will bring success to himself, you have to find a guy who is motivated and bringing success to himself, or at least trying. NOT one who is talking about it. If you want to date a man who doesn’t mind kids, then find a guy who is comfortable around kids, not one who says he is okay with children, but then freaks out when 6 of them are running crazy during a party or who refuses to go with you to a birthday party. It’s a tough conversation to have, but if you’re sleeping with someone, you need to know how they feel about children, because there is always a chance of getting pregnant. Trust me. When I first brought up getting pregnant by accident to my baby’s father, he flipped. Literally flipped out. Lo and behold, several weeks later, I was actually accidentally pregnant. Whoops. And you all know what happened there: he flipped. If you want a guy who wants to be a father, then you need to date a guy who is okay with having kids NOW. Not one who talks about it as some vague alien universe that may or may not exist in the future. The truth is, if he can’t talk about it now, he isn’t even close to being ready. And if you are, well, don’t date someone you need to change.

 

And by the way, the logic that if a guy can’t talk about something calmly and rationally right now means he isn’t ready for it totally stands true. If you’re at a point in your life where certain things are really important to you, and the man you’re dating can’t talk about those things, then it’s not going to work. Don’t date someone you need to change.

 

Date someone who already is ______. Whatever wants and needs and must-haves are on your list.

 

 

 

 

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