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Reality

About 3 months ago before I had Sophie, I blogged about how I wanted my life to be post-pregnancy. Ah such wishful thinking… Most of the reasons why I have failed to follow some of these guidelines is simply that given the choice between exercise and sleep… Sleep wins. Everytime. So far…

Here is a quick list of what I wrote, with my current notes on REALITY of life in bold:

So here is my pregnancy detox plan (if you will) starting off with diet changes:

1. Delete fast food from my life. HA! Yeah right!! I wish I had the time to cook for myself more but so far I’ve been pretty much living off of Domino’s boneless chicken 🙂 It’s SO yummy!

2. I will be drinking only soy milk. No cow’s milk anymore. This one I have been really good at actually. The only time I drink cow’s milk is in my Starbucks lattes.

3. My Starbucks lattes will be skinny. Ahhhh Starbucks…. YUMMY Starbucks. Recently I have been getting my lattes non-fat, no whip and my fraps skinny 🙂 It’s time for Mama to get hot again!

4. I intend to go back to being mostly vegetarian. Considering I don’t cook my own meat and only eat it when I’m out and about, it shouldn’t be too hard. Again, considering I eat boneless chicken every day… ughhh…. well, I have tofu in my fridge, I just need to cook it!

5. I will continue to limit my caffeine intake. Still having about 1 cup a day, go me!

6. One rule I love that I follow now is I don’t include any SODAS or ENERGY drinks in my diet. I will definitely continue this. Yay! I’ve kept this one really really well! I hardly drink soda anymore and I don’t even really enjoy it anymore. Although I sort of miss energy drinks, umm, no thank you.

7. One thing I CAN’T wait to do is eat fish!!!!!!! I’m not sure on whether or not this rule continues into breastfeeding, but god I hope not. I MISS fish and especially sashimi and sushi… mmmmmmm LOVE LOVE LOVE sashimi!!!! I haven’t eaten it enough post-pregnancy but when I did…. HEAVEN.

8. I also plan on, eventually, re-entering alcohol into my life. I never plan on continuing my old lifestyle ever again, but being able to have a glass of wine with dinner or a sour ale at the bar will be nice. Let’s see… I have had a couple coronas here or there and some wine with dinner, I haven’t gotten drunk yet though. Although one of my bestfriends is in town this week….

And here is my plans for my body:

1. Reintroduce exercise slowly through the use of a personal trainer. Don’t think I will be using a PT, but I have plans to begin going to the gym several times a week. I just keep delaying this plan due to overtiredness. I *hope* to be going to the River for a weekend in early June, so I’m trying to use that as my motivation… but part of me doesn’t think I will be able to leave Sophie for a whole weekend!

2. Eventually start a running regimen doing intervals that I learned about in Women’s Health. Meh, see above. I have a love/hate relationship with running….

3. Get back down to my pre-pregnancy weight of around 120 lbs. (Which means I’ll have about 30 lbs altogether to lose… some of those will come off during delivery, the rest…..) So pretty much since I had Sophie I’ve been at about 135, so I have about another 10 lbs to lose until I’m happy again. My hips have gotten bigger though and I don’t think that will change, which means I went up in pant size, but I’m hoping to tone up I will lose some inches.

4. Tone up my core, butt, and thighs. And get lifting free weights again. I really do miss the gym. Not more than I miss sleep unfortunately.

5. Keep up with yoga at least once a week.

6. My goal is to get back to a 27 inch waist, which is about a size 5 in jeans. Hopefully I can keep some of the new big boobs :)

7. And my goal is to do all of this in about 3 months after I can start exercising again. Which will hopefully be in late April (approx 6 weeks after birth).

8. One of the first things I plan on doing is *hopefully* getting tattooed as soon as I can. Going 10 months without a tattoo, especially after a breakup, is HARD for me. I have a tradition where after every relationship (only the major ones) end, I get a piercing or tattoo as a way of moving on and celebrating that part of my life. I know I want to do something for Sophie, I’m not sure yet. I know I don’t want to do the traditional hand/footprint tattoo… that’s overused and boring. For this one, I have decided on what I want my Sophie tattoo to be… her name in greek, which looks like this Σοφíα and her birth flower, which are daffodils. I can’t wait to get it done!!!

Rule #6: Own It

This is more of a life lesson than just a dating rule. We’re all different people. It’s taken me a LONG time to realize this. Highschool was the WORST for me. Between everyone being in love with Janel to getting barked at everyday my senior year of high school, I was super self conscious and very unhappy with myself. God, I remember thinking I was fat when I was a size 2! Ugh, if only I could go back in time….. *le sigh* Anyways, it took me gaining weight and becoming a size 9 to realize something about myself physically: I’m curvy. I have a figure. Hips, boobs, the whole 9. And it was then I realized this: own it. Whoever you are, whatever is your flaws, any events in your past, what you look like, your quirks, own it. Be all about it, be all about yourself. It’s MUCH better to own who you are and start letting people love you for you than trying to be someone else. We’re all different, and there’s no one way to be.

My ex Aaron is mostly who taught me this. When I met him, I was no longer the skinny uptight B is used to be, I was curvy and relaxed with who I had become, what I looked like, and what my passions were. I was super into sci-fi, and sarcasm, movies, TV, wine, beer…. and I owned it. A thought all these things I had always been self conscious about (like my love of LOTR and SoAP and HP and The Office) were the best qualities about me. He loved that I was into sports, and could hold an intelligent conversation. He made me okay with being this new me that I was becoming.

After him, I realized that I really don’t give a fuck. I don’t care what you think of me. I am who I am. I have acne at 25 years old, I’m curvy, I love to pick my nose, craps is my fav, I love Taylor Swift, I am all geek and a little nerd, I LOVE football, sci fi is my fav, rom coms never get old, I don’t drink jeager, I watch way too much CW. Whatever it is about me, I own it. Cause that’s who I am. If you don’t like it them GFY. Not every person in the world has to love me or even like me. If you do, then awesome, teach me something new, if you don’t like me then that’s cool too, whatever. But something I’m not willing to do anymore is change to appease people. I am who I am. I will grow and learn new things as I age, as does everyone, but whatever I like, I own. The scars on my wrist, I own it. It was a horrible experience, but it’s made me who I am. And I really only have 3 choices: pretend its not there, be really embarrassed about it, or own it. So I own it. If someone asks me about it, I’ll be straight up with them. It happened to me, it’s a part of who I am, and if they think differently of me because of the truth about my past, then so be it.

I think as we all get a little older, most people adopt this attitude, and more and more people respect it. I know I respect someone who owns their shit. I’ve recently taught a friend this philosophy and there were things he did not like about some scars he had on his face that I thought were sexy as hell and he’s started to own them. Tell the story, make it a positive thing. If something is truely a part of you, being embarrassed about it only hurts your esteem. Be proud of every part of you, even the ugly parts. Love the stretch marks. Embrace your curves. Take compliments with humility and grace, and say Thank You. Laugh about your insecurities. Defend your love of Britney Spears (leave Britney alone!) or your extreme memorization of Forest Gump. Be all about yourself, and you won’t have a problem finding someone who can be all about you too.

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