Tag Archives: Baby

Dating Adventures from a Mom

It occurs to me that since my bestie/roommate is writing about *my* dating life as a topic for her blog posts so she doesn’t have to do her 30 dates thing I should probably be writing about it too. I just tend to get darn lazy with this blog between working, obsessing over Once Upon a Time, being a mommy, and making these (damn) magnet boards.

If you’ve been following my blog for awhile now, you’ll know that I became bitterly single (read about it here, here, and here) while I was pregnant, and after the early zombie days of motherhood wondering how the heck I am ever going to date again. There were so many questions floating around…

who would date a single mom?

do they become like a new dad to my kid?

what do I do about the fact that I’m still breastfeeding…awkward!?

when do you introduce the baby to them?

how do you NOT talk about your baby the entire night?

will they even realize I’m a person anymore since all I do is talk about baby poop and probably have some in my hair?

Okay… so maybe some of those questions aren’t real, but in reality it is a complicated situation. One I unfortunately didn’t have to come across until recently since no one wanted to date me. You see, most men I know don’t want to date a single mom. It’s too much, too fast, and they’re too afraid of ______. Whatever, cool. I am focused on being a mommy anyways. But I knew eventually I would have to foray out into the world of dating. Taking care of myself as a woman is important to me, and to Sophie too. As a good friend reminded me, I have to be the one to set an example of healthy relationships for Sophie. She will learn it all from watching my interaction with people, men, her father, etc. I knew eventually if I ever wanted to get married and maybe have some more kiddos, I’d have to start dating. Right?

THANK GOD that my first date as a mother was with someone I’d known since high school. I couldn’t tell you how nervous I still was in spite of the fact that we’d been friends 10+ years. My roomie was assuring me that it was all going to be okay as I was finding ways I could bow out gracefully just so I didn’t have to worry about they tiny date details that every girls worries about. Opening doors, saying thank yous, not burping, making sure there’s no food in your teeth, is there a kiss? is there a hug? ugh… anyways. Needless to say, it went swimmingly and was a perfect date.

But the point here isn’t to summarize all my dates (there’s been 4 so far tyvm!) but to say that it IS possible to date and be a mommy to a 9 month year old GIVEN that the man you’re going on dates with is totally understanding that you’re a mom to a 9 month old.

Reality

About 3 months ago before I had Sophie, I blogged about how I wanted my life to be post-pregnancy. Ah such wishful thinking… Most of the reasons why I have failed to follow some of these guidelines is simply that given the choice between exercise and sleep… Sleep wins. Everytime. So far…

Here is a quick list of what I wrote, with my current notes on REALITY of life in bold:

So here is my pregnancy detox plan (if you will) starting off with diet changes:

1. Delete fast food from my life. HA! Yeah right!! I wish I had the time to cook for myself more but so far I’ve been pretty much living off of Domino’s boneless chicken 🙂 It’s SO yummy!

2. I will be drinking only soy milk. No cow’s milk anymore. This one I have been really good at actually. The only time I drink cow’s milk is in my Starbucks lattes.

3. My Starbucks lattes will be skinny. Ahhhh Starbucks…. YUMMY Starbucks. Recently I have been getting my lattes non-fat, no whip and my fraps skinny 🙂 It’s time for Mama to get hot again!

4. I intend to go back to being mostly vegetarian. Considering I don’t cook my own meat and only eat it when I’m out and about, it shouldn’t be too hard. Again, considering I eat boneless chicken every day… ughhh…. well, I have tofu in my fridge, I just need to cook it!

5. I will continue to limit my caffeine intake. Still having about 1 cup a day, go me!

6. One rule I love that I follow now is I don’t include any SODAS or ENERGY drinks in my diet. I will definitely continue this. Yay! I’ve kept this one really really well! I hardly drink soda anymore and I don’t even really enjoy it anymore. Although I sort of miss energy drinks, umm, no thank you.

7. One thing I CAN’T wait to do is eat fish!!!!!!! I’m not sure on whether or not this rule continues into breastfeeding, but god I hope not. I MISS fish and especially sashimi and sushi… mmmmmmm LOVE LOVE LOVE sashimi!!!! I haven’t eaten it enough post-pregnancy but when I did…. HEAVEN.

8. I also plan on, eventually, re-entering alcohol into my life. I never plan on continuing my old lifestyle ever again, but being able to have a glass of wine with dinner or a sour ale at the bar will be nice. Let’s see… I have had a couple coronas here or there and some wine with dinner, I haven’t gotten drunk yet though. Although one of my bestfriends is in town this week….

And here is my plans for my body:

1. Reintroduce exercise slowly through the use of a personal trainer. Don’t think I will be using a PT, but I have plans to begin going to the gym several times a week. I just keep delaying this plan due to overtiredness. I *hope* to be going to the River for a weekend in early June, so I’m trying to use that as my motivation… but part of me doesn’t think I will be able to leave Sophie for a whole weekend!

2. Eventually start a running regimen doing intervals that I learned about in Women’s Health. Meh, see above. I have a love/hate relationship with running….

3. Get back down to my pre-pregnancy weight of around 120 lbs. (Which means I’ll have about 30 lbs altogether to lose… some of those will come off during delivery, the rest…..) So pretty much since I had Sophie I’ve been at about 135, so I have about another 10 lbs to lose until I’m happy again. My hips have gotten bigger though and I don’t think that will change, which means I went up in pant size, but I’m hoping to tone up I will lose some inches.

4. Tone up my core, butt, and thighs. And get lifting free weights again. I really do miss the gym. Not more than I miss sleep unfortunately.

5. Keep up with yoga at least once a week.

6. My goal is to get back to a 27 inch waist, which is about a size 5 in jeans. Hopefully I can keep some of the new big boobs :)

7. And my goal is to do all of this in about 3 months after I can start exercising again. Which will hopefully be in late April (approx 6 weeks after birth).

8. One of the first things I plan on doing is *hopefully* getting tattooed as soon as I can. Going 10 months without a tattoo, especially after a breakup, is HARD for me. I have a tradition where after every relationship (only the major ones) end, I get a piercing or tattoo as a way of moving on and celebrating that part of my life. I know I want to do something for Sophie, I’m not sure yet. I know I don’t want to do the traditional hand/footprint tattoo… that’s overused and boring. For this one, I have decided on what I want my Sophie tattoo to be… her name in greek, which looks like this Σοφíα and her birth flower, which are daffodils. I can’t wait to get it done!!!

The waiting game

I do realize it’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything. Anything interesting at least. It’s because my life hasn’t been interesting and I wouldn’t dare bore my lovely readers (all 3 of you) with boring pregnancy-related posts. That’s what my facebook page is for (sorry facebook friends!)

Right now my life is in a stage of waiting… and waiting… and waiting. There are two things, namely, that I am stuck waiting on: 1. My baby coming, and 2. Law School acceptance or denial letters. And neither is there anything I can do about it. And that drives me CRAZY!!! If you know me, you know that I like to be in charge of things. No, not like… more like NEED to be in charge. I need to know, I have an insatiable thirst to know things. Anything. The ending to a long movie. Whether or not the anecdote Justin Timberlake recites in The Social Network about Victoria’s Secret is true (it was). What I am getting for Christmas (if I can look, I will). Who the person that texted you was (not because I’m jealous, but because I HATE now knowing!) And that’s just it. I HATE not knowing something, I loathe it. If I want something, I want it now, if I want to know something, I look it up. Otherwise it consumes me and drives me to the point of insanity and I end up feeling defeated at life because I just can’t know that one thing. There is a shirt that the last time I remember having was my 21st birthday in Las Vegas back in god-knows-when that I don’t know what happened to and you know what? 5 years later, I still think about it. I WANT TO KNOW!!!

So living in a state of waiting is hell for me. It pretty much destroys my entire life and turns me into an obsessive freak. California Western School of Law has a “status checker” for the status of your application with them and I check it at midnight sometimes. As if they’re updating my status and deciding my application at that time. If I order something online, the tracking number becomes my new best friend and I check it daily. Not because I need the package or anything, but just because I need to know where the package is. I don’t care if it won’t be delivered for a year. If I can track it, I’m a happy girl. With Sophie, every time I have a braxton-hicks contraction along with (literally) any other symptom, I immediately google it to try and see if labor is close. So far, it isn’t.

Yesterday I googled “does a lot of braxton hicks contractions mean labor is close?” just because I NEED something on which to measure! I need it!! I need to know!!!!! Realizing that she will come when she wants to and there is nothing I can do I think has been the most frustrating experience of my life. You better believe at 37 weeks (when she is considered full term) I will be trying every single home remedy I can google to start labor. Except castor oil… that just sounds like a bad idea from what I’ve read. I see her moving in my belly and I feel her rolling around and kicking and it’s as if she’s laughing at me saying “I know something you don’t know”. And she won’t share.

I actually think this state of waiting kind of depresses me. I have no desire to do much, go out… then again, that’s just a part of pregnancy anyways. But still, it’s SO frustrating for me that it actually becomes depressing. I think that a big part of it is that the two biggest things that will happen to shape my future are coming, and I have no control over them. Zero. And that’s really a scary thing. All these other people know how my future is going to shape out and I don’t. So I do the only thing I can do… I continue to wait. And wait. And wait. And check my Cal Western status checker 3 times a day to satiate my need to know.

And the Nominees are…

Well folks, it’s almost that time of year… not Christmas, not New Years, but the time where we all reflect back on 2010 and make a resolution for 2011 that we won’t keep.

I don’t even remember what my resolution was for this year… maybe work out more? Who knows, NYE was a pretty drunk and hazy FUN time. But regardless, I still love getting sentimental and thinking of all the things I’ve been through, seen and experienced these past 365 days (almost) and think about what I can do to improve myself for next year.

I guess the truth of the matter is, making a resolution doesn’t help. If we could better our lives or change aspects of our personality with one promise to ourselves declared one day a year, then we’d all be pretty fabulous people. And we aren’t. Sorry. I think at this point its more of a tradition then something any of us actually take seriously or care about. It’s a question that we are expecting to be asked, and we’d better come up with an answer. Some of us decide to make it serious (lose 150 pounds), some decide to make it funny (sleep with 6 countries of women), others sentimental (reconnect with my husband). Yet, we all come up with an answer. Even “no resolution” is a statement. In fact, now that I think about it, I think last year I came up with some babble about living in modesty: exercise in modesty, drinking in modesty, sex in modesty… you get the idea. My belief was (still is) why should be make a drastic change to ourselves or our lifestyle when I honestly believe we should do a little bit of everything, and give up nothing. Well I can tell you that idea got me into a lot of trouble in 2010.

Although few can say that I lived modestly… I partied WAY too much this year, so much so that my last relationship revolved around who I was as a drunk, and not who I actually was in real life. And once I got pregnant, the real me came out, and well if you know me, you know she’s not NEARLY as fun as drunk Lizzy. I mean, I’m a pretty fun girl, a little crazy, a little sporadic and spontaneous, but overall I’m probably about a 70/30 mix: 70% chill, 30% crazy fun. Well drunk me is more like 20/80: 20% chill, and 80% crazy drunk fun. And that personality is addicting, I will tell you. Having a million friends, someone to party with every night of the week, having crazy stories to tell and funny pictures to look at… It’s the life right? I used to think so, but getting pregnant changed my perspective (I hear it’s known to do that…) and now I appreciate the calm life. What I love the most about forced sobriety is the clarification it has brought to me. But that’s for another blog…

THIS blog is to focus on what I want to change for next year. 2011 will be a year of re-birth (figuratively and literally haha). My Mom recovering from lung cancer after a miracle diagnosis, the birth of my daughter Sophie, the start of law school again, moving into my own place for the first time in my life…  So I will list some resolutions I am considering and let you dear readers pick which one you think is best for me… So at last, the nominees are:

1. Grow my hair out and DON’T cut it.

2. Start being on time.

3. Stop biting my nails.

4. Promise to do one thing from my list a month.

5. Learn to cook.

6. Learn to use my sewing machine.

7. Go back to being a Vegetarian.

8. Find that someone special.

9. Answer all phone calls from friends.

10. Move to North Carolina.

 

So there they are! My Top 10 resolution choices for 2011… Please vote in the comments section, and I will tally them up at the end of the year and make a decision 😀

26 weeks

26 weeks

As of yesterday, I am 26 weeks along, well over half way, and so close to the 3rd trimester. All in total I’ve only gained about 12 pounds, which is good! Ill stand to gain another 8 or so in the 3rd trimester, but since my weight is pretty much all baby I’m hoping it will be easy to lose it. Pregnancy is pretty easy at this point, until I try to sleep… Then it gets tough. I started to look at apartments today and I cannot WAIT to move out on my own. Not because I want to get away from my family, I’ve generally enjoyed living at home, but because I’m ready to be on my own. For the last 6 years I’ve lived with roommates or boyfriends or at home and as hard as I know it will be, I feel the need to be out under my own roof with my own rules and paying bills for myself only. And taking care of Sophie on my own too… Although I know I’m pretty much going to have an open door when it comes to help and care for her. I guess you know when you’re growing up and maturing when you give up luxuries you’ve always wanted or things you would have NEVER conceded to in the past… Like living in lakeside. And it feels good to finally be in that place. The next 14 weeks I’m sure will go by SO fast and I can’t wait to see where I am then.

How I met your father

Damn, it’s scary how a time frame of 6 months can change your entire life and it’s path. There’s an episode of How I Met Your Mother where Ted, the narrator and main character of the show, talks about how his life might have been completely different if he had gone right instead of left one day. And it really is that simple. When I tell my daughter the story of how I met her father, and how quickly my entire plan changed, it will come down to just a few minute tiny decisions.

The night I met Nick was about 6 months ago on Cristina’s birthday weekend. We were actually wearing shirts from the TV show that said “Have you met Lizzy?” and “Have you met Cristina?” Cris decided that we would start at PB bar and grill and then bar hop from there. Except we never left PB bar and grill. A long ago friend had recently been in touch again, James, and I knew he lived in PB. I texted him the night we were out to see if maybe we would end up at the same bar. Literally, as we were on our way out to go to Moondoggies, James texted me saying he was at PB bar and grill. So I took the opportunity to see him, and that’s one reason I met Nick. If he had texted me 5 minutes later, we would have been gone already, not looking back. I would have never met Nick, and wouldn’t be pregnant right now with my first child.

The night of Cris’ birthday, her friends and I decided that we would play a little game with her… more like for her. If we (the friends) decided that a guy was a 8 or higher on the hotness scale, then she had to either hit on him or take a shot. It’s a win-win… she gets her flirt on, or gets wasted. Well, Nick happened to be the first guy we all came across and agreed upon, and Cristina quickly passed for the shot. If we hadn’t made up that game, or if Cristina had decided to get her flirt on, things would have been so different.

There were several of James’ hot friends at the bar that night. Nick happened to be the first one we met due to the game we were playing, but there were several others I was certainly into and attracted to. Nick or someone else told me that one of the guys happened to be gay, even though he wasn’t. If they hadn’t jokingly told me that… I may have ended up with a completely different person, and thus a different path.

I was also seeing several men the night of Cristina’s birthday, and one of them was invited to come out with us. He ended up getting off of work later than expected, and had to pick up a friend to come with him. And since they lived rather far from PB, by the time they arrived, it was already a shit show, and Nick and I had already been flirting. If that guy had gotten our of work on time, maybe took 3 less deliveries, he may have shown up before I met any other guys, and thus I would’ve been flirting with him all night, and never would have been interested in Nick.

There’s a slew of reasons how we happened to meet, and what ended up with me being pregnant and will end up with a beautiful baby girl. But it’s truly insane to look back and say only 6 months can alter something so drastically and so permanently. All of the factors were so little, yet they added up to this extraordinary event. Hindsight is 20/20 and when we’re in a sad or stressful moment it is hard to imagine a totally different life in a year from now, or 6 months, or 5 years. But it does happen. As stressed as I may be right now, I know that in x amount of time, however long or short it takes, things will be different. I would have never ever ever guessed back then that all that alcohol and embarrassment would result in the most important thing of my life coming about. Life or God or whomever you would like to call it has a weird way of working for sure. Whether or not free will exists, the path life takes us on is the most confusing, messed up journey we could imagine, and one we would never hope for, but also one we would never take back for the life of us. The past year of my life has been so crazy and tragic and happy and insane that I simply have no clue what the future will bring, what it even could bring. I never thought I’d be having a baby this soon, yet here she is in my belly. I never thought it would take me this long to complete my post-grad education and law school, yet here I am, 4 years after getting my BA, about to start law school all over. It’s all one big miracle, that we get anything accomplished at all. The next 6 months should be one for the books, that’s for sure. And I can’t wait for the big reveal.

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Happy 2nd Trimester!

14 weeks today, so I’m officially in my 2nd trimester! Which means that baby is definitely here to stay 😀 I ordered what will come to be my first round of maternity clothes last week, hopefully they get here soon cause I need em!!

About my 14 week old Gummy Bear (from BabyCenter.com):

This week’s big developments: Your baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck her thumb. Thanks to brain impulses, her facial muscles are getting a workout as her tiny features form one expression after another. Her kidneys are producing urine, which she releases into the amniotic fluid around her — a process she’ll keep up until birth. She can grasp, too, and if you’re having an ultrasound now, you may even catch her sucking her thumb. In other news: Your baby’s stretching out. From head to bottom, she measures 3 1/2 inches — about the size of a lemon — and she weighs 1 1/2 ounces.

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