Tag Archives: Education

The waiting game

I do realize it’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything. Anything interesting at least. It’s because my life hasn’t been interesting and I wouldn’t dare bore my lovely readers (all 3 of you) with boring pregnancy-related posts. That’s what my facebook page is for (sorry facebook friends!)

Right now my life is in a stage of waiting… and waiting… and waiting. There are two things, namely, that I am stuck waiting on: 1. My baby coming, and 2. Law School acceptance or denial letters. And neither is there anything I can do about it. And that drives me CRAZY!!! If you know me, you know that I like to be in charge of things. No, not like… more like NEED to be in charge. I need to know, I have an insatiable thirst to know things. Anything. The ending to a long movie. Whether or not the anecdote Justin Timberlake recites in The Social Network about Victoria’s Secret is true (it was). What I am getting for Christmas (if I can look, I will). Who the person that texted you was (not because I’m jealous, but because I HATE now knowing!) And that’s just it. I HATE not knowing something, I loathe it. If I want something, I want it now, if I want to know something, I look it up. Otherwise it consumes me and drives me to the point of insanity and I end up feeling defeated at life because I just can’t know that one thing. There is a shirt that the last time I remember having was my 21st birthday in Las Vegas back in god-knows-when that I don’t know what happened to and you know what? 5 years later, I still think about it. I WANT TO KNOW!!!

So living in a state of waiting is hell for me. It pretty much destroys my entire life and turns me into an obsessive freak. California Western School of Law has a “status checker” for the status of your application with them and I check it at midnight sometimes. As if they’re updating my status and deciding my application at that time. If I order something online, the tracking number becomes my new best friend and I check it daily. Not because I need the package or anything, but just because I need to know where the package is. I don’t care if it won’t be delivered for a year. If I can track it, I’m a happy girl. With Sophie, every time I have a braxton-hicks contraction along with (literally) any other symptom, I immediately google it to try and see if labor is close. So far, it isn’t.

Yesterday I googled “does a lot of braxton hicks contractions mean labor is close?” just because I NEED something on which to measure! I need it!! I need to know!!!!! Realizing that she will come when she wants to and there is nothing I can do I think has been the most frustrating experience of my life. You better believe at 37 weeks (when she is considered full term) I will be trying every single home remedy I can google to start labor. Except castor oil… that just sounds like a bad idea from what I’ve read. I see her moving in my belly and I feel her rolling around and kicking and it’s as if she’s laughing at me saying “I know something you don’t know”. And she won’t share.

I actually think this state of waiting kind of depresses me. I have no desire to do much, go out… then again, that’s just a part of pregnancy anyways. But still, it’s SO frustrating for me that it actually becomes depressing. I think that a big part of it is that the two biggest things that will happen to shape my future are coming, and I have no control over them. Zero. And that’s really a scary thing. All these other people know how my future is going to shape out and I don’t. So I do the only thing I can do… I continue to wait. And wait. And wait. And check my Cal Western status checker 3 times a day to satiate my need to know.

Law School Diversity Statement

I’m posting this on here in hopes that all my awesome friends and readers of my blog can help me revise this. Please leave suggestions/rewrites on the comments section. Or email me!

Y’all are the best, and thanks for continuing your support of me going to LS!

For Applicant: Elizabeth Atkins

Thomas Jefferson School of Law

Diversity Statement

Where I am from most girls are pregnant and married a few years out of high school. Practically no one goes to college, and I’m one of the few of my graduating class to go on to graduate school. All these years I’ve managed to stay dedicated to my studies and have never given up, even though I have had some ups and downs.

While preparing for the LSAT earlier this year, I found out I was pregnant. The father, unfortunately, decided that having a baby was too much for him to handle, and I found myself taking the LSAT and applying to law schools as a single expecting mother. Needless to say, I was scared and questioned whether or not I should continue down the path of graduate school. But law school has been my dream for 4 years now, and too many women give up on a dream they have had because of motherhood. I vowed I would not be just another statistic, and that, unlike the girls I grew up around, I could be a mother and have the career of my dreams.

When I enter law school in the fall of 2011, I will have a 6 month year old newborn baby girl, Sophie Pearl. Becoming a first time mother has shifted my priorities immensely and I am determined to build a future not only for myself, but for my baby girl. Yes, I understand the rigors of law school and the hardships of single motherhood are obstacles to be feared on their own, nonetheless doing both at the same time. Yet I am a determined and strong willed woman, and I have a new goal of becoming a role model for my daughter, showing her that we truly can do whatever we set our minds to, regardless of the obstacles in our way.

I know my perspective as a single mother of a newborn will be an attribute to Thomas Jefferson and the entering class of fall 2011. We are what we experience, and it is no doubt that my experiences as a single mother through this process, and the hard work I will put in once school starts will contribute in a positive way to my point of view during class discussions, relationships with fellow students, and my drive to succeed in school and beyond.

This journey will undoubtedly be a difficult one, more difficult than what the average hard working law student has to endure. But I am not only willing to bring it on, but determined to do so for Sophie. I am lucky in that my life will be starting in two ways in 2011: Having a baby, and starting law school. I have no room to fail in either path, and that is ultimately what will make me a diverse student to your school and a successful practicing attorney in the future.

Team Legendhairy Team Leader of Fox News!

Team Legendhairy Team Leader Nate Muzquiz and participant Oscar Lopez featured with cancer survivors at Nate’s house for a Fox News piece on Movember!

Watch Here: http://www.sandiego6.com/mediacenter/local.aspx?articleID=868784

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How I met your father

Damn, it’s scary how a time frame of 6 months can change your entire life and it’s path. There’s an episode of How I Met Your Mother where Ted, the narrator and main character of the show, talks about how his life might have been completely different if he had gone right instead of left one day. And it really is that simple. When I tell my daughter the story of how I met her father, and how quickly my entire plan changed, it will come down to just a few minute tiny decisions.

The night I met Nick was about 6 months ago on Cristina’s birthday weekend. We were actually wearing shirts from the TV show that said “Have you met Lizzy?” and “Have you met Cristina?” Cris decided that we would start at PB bar and grill and then bar hop from there. Except we never left PB bar and grill. A long ago friend had recently been in touch again, James, and I knew he lived in PB. I texted him the night we were out to see if maybe we would end up at the same bar. Literally, as we were on our way out to go to Moondoggies, James texted me saying he was at PB bar and grill. So I took the opportunity to see him, and that’s one reason I met Nick. If he had texted me 5 minutes later, we would have been gone already, not looking back. I would have never met Nick, and wouldn’t be pregnant right now with my first child.

The night of Cris’ birthday, her friends and I decided that we would play a little game with her… more like for her. If we (the friends) decided that a guy was a 8 or higher on the hotness scale, then she had to either hit on him or take a shot. It’s a win-win… she gets her flirt on, or gets wasted. Well, Nick happened to be the first guy we all came across and agreed upon, and Cristina quickly passed for the shot. If we hadn’t made up that game, or if Cristina had decided to get her flirt on, things would have been so different.

There were several of James’ hot friends at the bar that night. Nick happened to be the first one we met due to the game we were playing, but there were several others I was certainly into and attracted to. Nick or someone else told me that one of the guys happened to be gay, even though he wasn’t. If they hadn’t jokingly told me that… I may have ended up with a completely different person, and thus a different path.

I was also seeing several men the night of Cristina’s birthday, and one of them was invited to come out with us. He ended up getting off of work later than expected, and had to pick up a friend to come with him. And since they lived rather far from PB, by the time they arrived, it was already a shit show, and Nick and I had already been flirting. If that guy had gotten our of work on time, maybe took 3 less deliveries, he may have shown up before I met any other guys, and thus I would’ve been flirting with him all night, and never would have been interested in Nick.

There’s a slew of reasons how we happened to meet, and what ended up with me being pregnant and will end up with a beautiful baby girl. But it’s truly insane to look back and say only 6 months can alter something so drastically and so permanently. All of the factors were so little, yet they added up to this extraordinary event. Hindsight is 20/20 and when we’re in a sad or stressful moment it is hard to imagine a totally different life in a year from now, or 6 months, or 5 years. But it does happen. As stressed as I may be right now, I know that in x amount of time, however long or short it takes, things will be different. I would have never ever ever guessed back then that all that alcohol and embarrassment would result in the most important thing of my life coming about. Life or God or whomever you would like to call it has a weird way of working for sure. Whether or not free will exists, the path life takes us on is the most confusing, messed up journey we could imagine, and one we would never hope for, but also one we would never take back for the life of us. The past year of my life has been so crazy and tragic and happy and insane that I simply have no clue what the future will bring, what it even could bring. I never thought I’d be having a baby this soon, yet here she is in my belly. I never thought it would take me this long to complete my post-grad education and law school, yet here I am, 4 years after getting my BA, about to start law school all over. It’s all one big miracle, that we get anything accomplished at all. The next 6 months should be one for the books, that’s for sure. And I can’t wait for the big reveal.

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Rule #5: The best way to get over someone…

…is to get on top of someone new. True story.

Clarification.

A good friend of mine brought up an apparent flaw in my rules between Rule #5, and Rule #2.

Rule #2 says not to have one night stands. Which I still stand by.

Rule #5 says the best way to get over someone is to get on top of someone new. Which I also stand by. However, “new” may be misleading…. I should have said, someone different. This is a good place where the future rule #6 comes in: Always stay friends with your exes.

An ex is a beautiful way to get over someone. As long as there’s no lingering feelings there, hooking up with an ex is almost always a brilliant idea. Comfortable, safe, you get yours…. And then you feel better. Perfect! If that is to awkward for you, or all your exes are evil, then this is where you can start breaking that glass. As in Chris Rock’s bit:

“A platonic friend to a woman is like “a dick in a glass case. In case of emergency break open glass”.”

Now if you don’t have any platonic friends to flip, this is where you just start meeting new guys. Now don’t sleep with them on the first day, c’mon ladies, stay classy. Talk to them for awhile, text chats, facebook chats, make em meet your friends….. then, you know, do your thing and apply Rule #5.

Next Steps

My first step is to apply for WIC and hopefully get help buying food while preggo. I just pray I don’t make too much money for them. I’ve also recently realized that when I’m in law school full time I’m not going to have a job at all. I wonder what my options are then… can I get rental assistance? tuition assistance? I have no freaking clue. There’s no way child support is going to cover my expenses and my baby’s expenses while I’m in law school.

So Thursday I’m going to go down to the WIC office and apply for that.

I already filled out my FAFSA and my EFC is 0 thank god.

Friday morning I’m going down to Cal Western to speak to an admissions counselor about the types of assistance they have for pregnant applicants and single mothers. I have read that many schools will provide almost disability services, like allowing me to bring the baby to class with me to breast feed, and what kind of need-based scholarships I may be eligible for.

Next week I will meet with Thomas Jefferson for the same questions and advice.

And as of right now I have about a month to study my ass off for the LSAT. I am going to have to try my hardest not to let my emotional state get in the way of what I want. It’s very very hard since between the breakup and the pregnancy I am constantly depressed. Maybe I can form a study group with some kids in my LSAT class. I am going to forget about Nick, and what he has done to me, for now at least. Afterall, I don’t know why I would even want to try to be with someone who has such a disregard for the welfare of the woman he supposedly loves or loved and her unborn child. Maybe my doctor can give me some awesome meds to help me cope with all this. And I’m definitely going to get back into counseling and maybe do some yoga at 24 hour fitness. And if anyone wants to help me with yoga, or attend lamaze classes with me, please please please let me know!!!

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