We all experience terrible things in life. Bad people, horrible memories, devastating moments. And, for the most part, we all get through them. We survive, spend time mourning or in anger, and eventually, one day, you move on. You get over it. You feel better. Life continues and you realize the whole world didn’t revolve around whatever it was that brought everything crashing down. And it’s amazing. You learn your lesson, you come out stronger on the other side. Afterall, hindsight is 20/20, and without these mistakes or heartbreaks or whatevers, we can’t grow as a person.
What one doesn’t expect, however, is when these mistakes you made, or problems you survived through get thrown back in your face by those who barely even know you. Cause someone who does really know you would know never to do such a thing. They would know how painful of a time it was that you went through, and they would be able to see the growth that you have made since your world crashed. It’s only the truly ignorant that take something they heard, or they think they understand and use it against you in some current situation. But beyond that, it’s only the truly fucked up that take something you tell them in confidence, as a friend or lover or family member, and take it and use it against you. Question your integrity, accuse you of ulterior motives based on past events.
To me, for what I have been through, especially recently with my life, someone doing this to me is utterly unforgivable. There are already enough events that are uncontrollable happening to me, to all of us, we don’t need people around who choose to cause you chaos. Who choose to accuse you of things. Who choose to bring up something in your past and rub it in your face. It’s truly amazing to me that some people are just that horrible. Just that plain mean. I like to think that all people are good, or want to be good, or are inherently good. But more and more life makes you skeptical. Of good, people, love, I mean, everything. More and more I do believe what I got tattooed on my right arm, “If I am not for myself, who will be for me?” I am really the only one that stands for myself, and is there for myself. I have to stick up and be for me, because that is the only person I can rely on to do so. I suppose in these situations, you just have to take what others do and say in stride, and ultimately do what is best for your own person. Afterall, I guess the only person you have to live with at the end of the day is you.