Tag Archives: Post- Baby

Dating Adventures from a Mom

It occurs to me that since my bestie/roommate is writing about *my* dating life as a topic for her blog posts so she doesn’t have to do her 30 dates thing I should probably be writing about it too. I just tend to get darn lazy with this blog between working, obsessing over Once Upon a Time, being a mommy, and making these (damn) magnet boards.

If you’ve been following my blog for awhile now, you’ll know that I became bitterly single (read about it here, here, and here) while I was pregnant, and after the early zombie days of motherhood wondering how the heck I am ever going to date again. There were so many questions floating around…

who would date a single mom?

do they become like a new dad to my kid?

what do I do about the fact that I’m still breastfeeding…awkward!?

when do you introduce the baby to them?

how do you NOT talk about your baby the entire night?

will they even realize I’m a person anymore since all I do is talk about baby poop and probably have some in my hair?

Okay… so maybe some of those questions aren’t real, but in reality it is a complicated situation. One I unfortunately didn’t have to come across until recently since no one wanted to date me. You see, most men I know don’t want to date a single mom. It’s too much, too fast, and they’re too afraid of ______. Whatever, cool. I am focused on being a mommy anyways. But I knew eventually I would have to foray out into the world of dating. Taking care of myself as a woman is important to me, and to Sophie too. As a good friend reminded me, I have to be the one to set an example of healthy relationships for Sophie. She will learn it all from watching my interaction with people, men, her father, etc. I knew eventually if I ever wanted to get married and maybe have some more kiddos, I’d have to start dating. Right?

THANK GOD that my first date as a mother was with someone I’d known since high school. I couldn’t tell you how nervous I still was in spite of the fact that we’d been friends 10+ years. My roomie was assuring me that it was all going to be okay as I was finding ways I could bow out gracefully just so I didn’t have to worry about they tiny date details that every girls worries about. Opening doors, saying thank yous, not burping, making sure there’s no food in your teeth, is there a kiss? is there a hug? ugh… anyways. Needless to say, it went swimmingly and was a perfect date.

But the point here isn’t to summarize all my dates (there’s been 4 so far tyvm!) but to say that it IS possible to date and be a mommy to a 9 month year old GIVEN that the man you’re going on dates with is totally understanding that you’re a mom to a 9 month old.

Advertisements

Reality

About 3 months ago before I had Sophie, I blogged about how I wanted my life to be post-pregnancy. Ah such wishful thinking… Most of the reasons why I have failed to follow some of these guidelines is simply that given the choice between exercise and sleep… Sleep wins. Everytime. So far…

Here is a quick list of what I wrote, with my current notes on REALITY of life in bold:

So here is my pregnancy detox plan (if you will) starting off with diet changes:

1. Delete fast food from my life. HA! Yeah right!! I wish I had the time to cook for myself more but so far I’ve been pretty much living off of Domino’s boneless chicken 🙂 It’s SO yummy!

2. I will be drinking only soy milk. No cow’s milk anymore. This one I have been really good at actually. The only time I drink cow’s milk is in my Starbucks lattes.

3. My Starbucks lattes will be skinny. Ahhhh Starbucks…. YUMMY Starbucks. Recently I have been getting my lattes non-fat, no whip and my fraps skinny 🙂 It’s time for Mama to get hot again!

4. I intend to go back to being mostly vegetarian. Considering I don’t cook my own meat and only eat it when I’m out and about, it shouldn’t be too hard. Again, considering I eat boneless chicken every day… ughhh…. well, I have tofu in my fridge, I just need to cook it!

5. I will continue to limit my caffeine intake. Still having about 1 cup a day, go me!

6. One rule I love that I follow now is I don’t include any SODAS or ENERGY drinks in my diet. I will definitely continue this. Yay! I’ve kept this one really really well! I hardly drink soda anymore and I don’t even really enjoy it anymore. Although I sort of miss energy drinks, umm, no thank you.

7. One thing I CAN’T wait to do is eat fish!!!!!!! I’m not sure on whether or not this rule continues into breastfeeding, but god I hope not. I MISS fish and especially sashimi and sushi… mmmmmmm LOVE LOVE LOVE sashimi!!!! I haven’t eaten it enough post-pregnancy but when I did…. HEAVEN.

8. I also plan on, eventually, re-entering alcohol into my life. I never plan on continuing my old lifestyle ever again, but being able to have a glass of wine with dinner or a sour ale at the bar will be nice. Let’s see… I have had a couple coronas here or there and some wine with dinner, I haven’t gotten drunk yet though. Although one of my bestfriends is in town this week….

And here is my plans for my body:

1. Reintroduce exercise slowly through the use of a personal trainer. Don’t think I will be using a PT, but I have plans to begin going to the gym several times a week. I just keep delaying this plan due to overtiredness. I *hope* to be going to the River for a weekend in early June, so I’m trying to use that as my motivation… but part of me doesn’t think I will be able to leave Sophie for a whole weekend!

2. Eventually start a running regimen doing intervals that I learned about in Women’s Health. Meh, see above. I have a love/hate relationship with running….

3. Get back down to my pre-pregnancy weight of around 120 lbs. (Which means I’ll have about 30 lbs altogether to lose… some of those will come off during delivery, the rest…..) So pretty much since I had Sophie I’ve been at about 135, so I have about another 10 lbs to lose until I’m happy again. My hips have gotten bigger though and I don’t think that will change, which means I went up in pant size, but I’m hoping to tone up I will lose some inches.

4. Tone up my core, butt, and thighs. And get lifting free weights again. I really do miss the gym. Not more than I miss sleep unfortunately.

5. Keep up with yoga at least once a week.

6. My goal is to get back to a 27 inch waist, which is about a size 5 in jeans. Hopefully I can keep some of the new big boobs :)

7. And my goal is to do all of this in about 3 months after I can start exercising again. Which will hopefully be in late April (approx 6 weeks after birth).

8. One of the first things I plan on doing is *hopefully* getting tattooed as soon as I can. Going 10 months without a tattoo, especially after a breakup, is HARD for me. I have a tradition where after every relationship (only the major ones) end, I get a piercing or tattoo as a way of moving on and celebrating that part of my life. I know I want to do something for Sophie, I’m not sure yet. I know I don’t want to do the traditional hand/footprint tattoo… that’s overused and boring. For this one, I have decided on what I want my Sophie tattoo to be… her name in greek, which looks like this Σοφíα and her birth flower, which are daffodils. I can’t wait to get it done!!!

%d bloggers like this: