Tag Archives: Reproductive Health

Post Pregnancy Life

Post Pregnancy Life

Much like we denote time with AD and BC, women with children denote their lives with Pre-pregnancy and post-pregnancy. Because one thing is for sure, you’re never the same post-pregnancy. Whether it be your body, emotional health, lifestyle or future plans, everything is different. There simply is no going back.

But, we are human beings, and most will do everything in our realm of possibility to try. For me, the most important thing about my post-pregnancy life is getting my body back and getting healthy.

So here is my pregnancy detox plan (if you will) starting off with diet changes:

1. Delete fast food from my life.

2. I will be drinking only soy milk. No cow’s milk anymore.

3. My Starbucks lattes will be skinny.

4. I intend to go back to being mostly vegetarian. Considering I don’t cook my own meat and only eat it when I’m out and about, it shouldn’t be too hard.

5. I will continue to limit my caffeine intake.

6. One rule I love that I follow now is I don’t include any SODAS or ENERGY drinks in my diet. I will definitely continue this.

7. One thing I CAN’T wait to do is eat fish!!!!!!! I’m not sure on whether or not this rule continues into breastfeeding, but god I hope not. I MISS fish and especially sashimi and sushi… mmmmmmm

8. I also plan on, eventually, re-entering alcohol into my life. I never plan on continuing my old lifestyle ever again, but being able to have a glass of wine with dinner or a sour ale at the bar will be nice.

And here is my plans for my body:

1. Reintroduce exercise slowly through the use of a personal trainer.

2. Eventually start a running regimen doing intervals that I learned about in Women’s Health.

3. Get back down to my pre-pregnancy weight of around 120 lbs. (Which means I’ll have about 30 lbs altogether to lose… some of those will come off during delivery, the rest…..)

4. Tone up my core, butt, and thighs. And get lifting free weights again. I really do miss the gym.

5. Keep up with yoga at least once a week.

6. My goal is to get back to a 27 inch waist, which is about a size 5 in jeans. Hopefully I can keep some of the new big boobs 🙂

7. And my goal is to do all of this in about 3 months after I can start exercising again. Which will hopefully be in late April (approx 6 weeks after birth).

8. One of the first things I plan on doing is *hopefully* getting tattooed as soon as I can. Going 10 months without a tattoo, especially after a breakup, is HARD for me. I have a tradition where after every relationship (only the major ones) end, I get a piercing or tattoo as a way of moving on and celebrating that part of my life. I know I want to do something for Sophie, I’m not sure yet. I know I don’t want to do the traditional hand/footprint tattoo… that’s overused and boring.

And finally, the plans for my LIFE:

1. Seriously, GO TO DISNEYLAND. I am going to try to go when Sophie is a few months old and stay for the weekend. I just want to go SO SO SO bad, I love Disneyland!!!

2. I want to attend Cristina’s bachelorette party in The Vegas in September, so that will be a big goal of mine.

3. Learn to be happy & comfortable with my post-pregnancy body. Yes, I realize I will have the belly stretch marks, along with the already existing ones on my butt, love handles, and inner thighs. Maybe I can try some sort of “firming” treatment, but in the end, they will never go away, and I will have to learn to love them as a part of myself and I will have to learn how to be sexy again.  Or rather, how to feel sexy again. Yes, it will take some time, and a very special man to find a “real” woman sexy. My boobs will probably sag, and the darkening of my aureolas may never go away. I think overall, out of everything, this will be the hardest to cope with… the bodily changes that you CAN’T reverse. But it does help knowing that there are literally millions of other women out there who have “pregnancy battle wounds” and are still loved and considered sexy by their men.

4. And if that doesn’t work, then I will save up for plastic surgery: tummy tuck & a boob lift.

Ramblings of a pregnant woman

After spending months studying for the LSAT, I was so relieved to have some free time to just do nothing, and not have to feel guilty about it. I spent that time getting caught up on TV shows and expanding my hulu account.  But 2 weeks into my mini-vacay, I’m feeling rather bored. Pregnancy is making me depressed. Not in a chemical way, but in a “I can’t do anything anymore” kind of way. A google search of “fun things to do while pregnant” (I know, I’m sad) brings up results upon results of date night ideas… which adds to the depression. Most moms-to-be have a father-to-be that is along for the ride with them. They have to understand your pregnancy woes, as they are the ones who helped in the ordeal. Together, couples can find relaxing and fun ways to pass the time all the while remaining respectful to the pregnancy. Friends, on the other hand, don’t have to respect your pregnancy. Friends don’t stop drinking and going to bars because you can’t drink. Friends continue on, living their life, inviting you along. The thing is 99% of the activities my friends do, I can’t participate in. I mean, I suppose I could pay $80 to go to a theme park to go on about 20% of the rides, and spend the other 80% being the bag holder… umm, no thanks. And honestly, going to a bar sober every once in a while is fine, even fun sometimes. But to do it day after day after day while everyone is boozing and drinking and hitting on people and you just have to sit there, sober, with a belly ache, barely fitting into your jeans and sipping water… well, it gets old. And it’s not like I can really go out and date anyone. Afterall, who wants to date an expanding woman who is carrying a child that isn’t theirs. Sure, I dabbled a bit on match.com and had guys emailing me, but most of them failed to read my profile that I was actually expecting, and one guy even emailed me telling me I was crazy for being on there while pregnant. I guess the truth is since my ex left me, I just have to deal with the fact that there is going to a void in that “area” of my life until after I give birth. And it’s not that I even need to have a man around, because I love being single. It’s just that sometimes, it’s nice to have a more intimate person around than a friend. And you know, it wouldn’t all be so bad if I could throw my own movie nights or dinner nights, but since I have to live at home right now, I can’t even do that. And it wouldn’t be so bad if I even had a room to sleep in, or a bed, but I don’t have those things either. And I know I sound very complainy when I should be grateful I’m not living on the streets, but it’s all just very frustrating and depressing. Most nights I sit in a freezing cold trailer with my laptop and read msn.com out of sheer boredom. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being pregnant and love the thought that soon I’m going to be a mama in my own right, it’s just lonely right now and I’m stuck in a place where I can’t yet plan for the future, which is annoying. And the everyday thoughts about what my LSAT score is going to be…. and the fact that I was super sick while taking it doesn’t make me feel very confident. I suppose if I have to take it again, the studying will at least give me something to do…. I just realized how sad/boring my life was becoming when at my friend’s kid’s birthday party we were playing Rock Band and I realized that was the most fun I was going to have probably in weeks. Le sigh.

Will men ever grow up?

I don’t understand why, even years after I discovered this phenomenon, men still aren’t required to grow up and become responsible. Our society has done such a good job babying our boys that when a man does shirk his responsibility in something it is cast off as normal, typical, and don’t worry about it. Yet women, on the other hand, are forced often times to be the one’s dealing with the responsibilities. Take getting pregnant for example. Recently I have gotten pregnant, and to date we’ve known about it for 2 months now. 2 out of 9 months is no longer considered “new” news. 2 weeks after finding out, sure, that’s new. But since finding out, my baby had grown from a ball of cells to an actual baby with organs and blood cells and ovaries and fingerprints. That’s a pretty big development. Yet men still aren’t required to grow up and be a part of the pregnancy. I’ve read that a woman becomes a parent as soon as she finds out she is pregnant, but for a man, it becomes real at birth. Does that mean that the 9 months of pregnancy are free reign for the men but are jail for the women? That’s a load of crap! Both parties participated in making the baby, and should participate in growing the thing. I’m the one doing all the heavy lifting, sacrificing everything from my body to my lifestyle to even fun activities while the man has to sacrifice nothing? And on top of that bitches when you ask him to do more than his fair share of household duties and chores?!?! Where do men get off?! And during all their bitching about having to do more, they are barely there physically, let alone there at all emotionally. You think men would be interesting in the creating and growing of their child. Afterall they are interested in every aspect of their hobbies, from making sure they have all the gear to bike ride, playing thousands of rounds of a video game to beat a level, and staying involved in their friends’ lives. Yet their own baby they could care less about? Men don’t read pregnancy books, instead choosing to spend hours playing call of duty. It’s a rare man who wants to encapsulate your pregnancy as much as you and your girlfriends do. The man who takes the profile belly pictures every week and posts them on HIS facebook page. The man who tears up during the ultrasound. The man who beems with love and excitement when talking about his creating to friends and family. The man who can’t keep his hands off your belly and makes you keep your feet up while he brings you another round of ice cream and pickles. That man is almost a myth, only to be heard of by a few and a real existence to even less than that. You type into google “how can I encourage my partner to be more interested or involved with our baby” and message board after message board pop up with countless pregnant women, just dying of isolation and lonliness because their men are abondening them emotionally, and some physically, during what is the most important yet toughest time in a woman’s life.

On top of all of that, woman are burdened the most with being “blamed” for being pregnant. It seems that if a woman is excited about a surprise pregnancy, that means she caused it, or forced it, to trap the guy and fulfill her lifelong desire to be with child. Suddenly because one gender is stuck with growing the baby, that gender becomes solely responsible. It’s forgotten by friends and family, of both sides, that the man chose to not participate in birth control just as much as the woman did. As far as I’m concerned, how do I know that the man didn’t want to purposely impregnate me to trap me?? (Chappelle Show: Gotcha Bitch!). But that could never be, men can’t be excited about a surprise pregnancy. And it’s even worse if they don’t want the baby. Maybe men will never understand what it is like exactly to have an abortion. Maybe that’s just the way it is. Even so, to ask a woman to do that, when he is just as much responsible for the consequence as she is, to ask a woman to invade her body and her physche in the awful way that abortions do… it’s unspeakable. Unfortunately the refusal of a woman to abort her fetus becomes even more proof that she planned this and tricked him. Friends start asking “why isn’t she aborting it?” Which, by the way, I don’t ever see how someone who isn’t the mother or father of the child ask that question. Abortion is maybe the most personal choice a woman will ever have to make. It’s personal in that it belongs to her and her only. To suggest that a woman get an abortion, especially if that person isn’t the father, is unfathomable. It would be akin to asking a woman with breast cancer why she isn’t having a mastectomy. Or worse, stating that she should or else… Because what people are essentially saying when they recommend that you abort is that you’re not fit to have a child. Whether it be emotionally, financially, or whatever, their opinion of you becomes clear. What if someone had said that to your mother? How would it feel to know that people wanted you dead, not in this world? How would it feel to know that for 9 months you were being created one of your parents and some of their friends and family not only thought you were a HUGE mistake, but didn’t want you, and wanted to kill you off, and refused to get close to you because you were a manipulation tool instead of a growing baby? It’s pretty awful when you look at with YOU as the perspective.

A friend of mine recently told me that if the man is not ready for it, then he’s allowed to be terrified, and off the hook for his part in situation. That just because I have stepped up to the plate and am ready (hell, as a pregnant woman you really don’t have a choice. You’re forced from the moment the plus sign arrives to change and deal) doesn’t mean he is and thus he receives some sort of hall pass to maturity. My response to that was I guess a man shirking his responsibility in creating a child is totally normal and acceptable. Cool. I guess that means it will be acceptable for the man to bail on 4 am feedings and taking care of the actual baby because he is scared then too huh? I guess it’s completely acceptable and normal for men to walk out on their children. Hell, it does happen all the time right? I was told by my counselor when I first realized I was pregnant that this is a decision I will have to live with, regardless of if the father stays involved or not. It sucks that life set it out to be that way, it truly does. And it sucks even more that society has made it an acceptable decision. Men should be scolded by their other male friends for ditching their pregnant partners at home puking while their out boozing, not rewarded for it. More and more our males encourage eachother to do the immoral action, the one that makes them less of a man and more of a man-boy. I always thought the man of my dreams would quit drinking and partying like crazy when I got pregnant. Not because I couldn’t drink, but to share in the bond that is pregnancy. As a gesture for him to say to his partner, “I know I’m not doing as much as you in carrying this child, but I’m gonna try.” Yet most men, if asked to quit drinking, would think of it as a punishment, not an opportunity to bond. Long gone are the days where men tell another man when he isn’t stepping up to the plate as a husband, partner, or father. And now are the times where men get together to bash their significant others, misplace blame, and seek reinforcement to not grow up.

It’s a sad but true reality. And worst of all, it comes at a time when we women need the most support, and a man to lean on. Glad he was there for the fun part, wish he was here for the real part.

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