This year was a bitter-sweet year for me. I got to be there for Sophie’s very first Christmas which she slept through most of it. But she loved all her new toys and I just love her!
But I also found out that my mom’s cancer came back and this time it’s untreatable. That was a stab in the heart. I know it’s natural to lose your parents but you never expect it to happen so soon and you never expect to know its coming sooner rather than later. I’ll admit, I’m terrified of losing my mommy. I’m devastated that Sophie won’t know her as well as I knew my grandparents. Most of all I’m Wrecked that she may never meet the rest of her grand kids, and they may never know her warmth and love. Because of all this I’m still praying for a miracle, for anything that will keep her here with us. My mom is this amazing woman and if anyone deserves a miracle it’s her.
Because of all of this, I’ve made it a point to spend more time with my family over the holidays. That and my brother was in town for a week. Yeah, I blew off a few potential dates and a new years kiss at midnight to do so and I feel bad about that. But ill always remember this time spent with my family and that’s so important to me. And it’s a little surprising actually considering 10 years ago I couldn’t wait to flee from
prison home. Just goes to show how much a little time and having a kid of your own changes your perspective.
Dating over the holidays is rough though if not impossible. I know that people say if someone means something to you then you’ll make time for them but I spent literally every night at my parents house for a week just being with them. Best idea ever. We played monopoly, our favorite card game euchre, and my personal fave Just Dance 3. I will never EVER forget my brother and my mom dancing to that game. Ever. But my point is if you’re seeing someone an they haven’t made time for you over the holidays, give them a break and don’t read too much into it. For me at least, every night of family togetherness was important and amazing because it could be our last holidays like this.
Thanks family for all the love and wonderful season!